The Road to Life
by iMissa
Summary: Kakashi's Road to Life leads him to a bar, fully intending to forget his latest mission. However, he doesn't expect Sakura to be there. Beware the extravaganza of crack!


**Disclaimer: My birthday isn't for another six months, but I'm writing early to Masashi Kishimoto, since it might take a while for the whole legal transaction of him giving me Naruto. Until then, alas! It's not mine. **

It was just one of those days, one of those nights where all you want to do is just drink and forget about the blood of another that stained your hands, haunted your dreams and viciously snapped at your heels when you allowed your mind to wander during the day time. After such a mission, a silver-haired Jounin headed towards the nearest bar, everything be damned if he didn't wake up tomorrow with a splitting headache and no memory of the night before.

The bar smelled of smoke and alcohol, but he disregarded that as he made his way towards the counter, intent on drinking until his vision and his memory blurred. Those _were _his plans, until he caught a flash of pink. Instinctively, he turned his lone eye towards it, and was completely caught off-guard when he saw Haruno Sakura. Haruno Sakura, his old student whom he sometimes saw, the most innocent of Team Seven. The girl that had been protected by her teammates. The girl who was, quite obviously, pissed-ass drunk.

"Sakura?" He asked, coming over to her. The girl turned her head, eyes brighter than they normally were, thanks to the alcohol.

"Kakashi-sensei!" She squealed, and threw her arms sloppily around him. Kakashi twitched; he had never really been one for close contact, and everything seemed surreal today.

"Where are Sasuke and Naruto?" He asked, as Sakura retracted from him and downed an entire cup of sake, some spilling onto the counter. Kakashi doubted she even noticed.

Sakura shrugged. "Dunno. Sa-" here, she hiccupped, then giggled loudly, "Sasuke-kun said he had to go home. Somethin' about a mission tomorrow," Sakura frowned and her eyebrows drew together as her drunk mind fought the haze of the alcohol.

"And Naruto?" Sakura's frown deepened.

"I called him before… I think. Sasuke-kun told me to, so I must have." Knowing Naruto, he would have been here sooner, so Kakashi guessed that Sakura hadn't.

"Then what about your new boyfriend?" Sakura's eyes were brighter than usual, and too late, Kakashi realized, as his former student's lip trembled.

"Warui **(A/N- Warui means bad or evil) **cheated on me." And then she started to cry. Loudly.

Kakashi glanced around warily, noticing that some of the people in the bar were giving him pointed looks and the females were gossiping with their friends of this situation.

"Okay, Sakura, I think it's time to get you home." Thankfully, she stopped crying. Now, though, she was clutching the sake bottle to her chest rather possessively.

"No." She said stubbornly, and Kakashi resisted the urge to sigh. Where had the days gone where he would tell her what to do and she would obey?

"Sakura," Kakashi began calmly, a brilliant plan blooming in his mind, "when I bring you back home, I will give you all the sake you deserve, okay?" She had already had more than enough, but that was okay, since she'd probably pass out on the couch when they got there anyway.

Sakura bit her lip, torn. The silver-haired male watched, until she finally said a cheerful, "Okay!" and then stumbled off the chair, somehow managing to throw down some money in the process.

Kakashi inwardly sighed as he gripped the medic-nin by the upper arm and steered her towards the door. He opened it and Sakura laughed loudly and ran out of his grasp, tripping a couple of times. He easily caught up to her and grabbed her by the shoulders. "Now, Sakura, where's your house?"

"Uhm…" was the intelligent answer, followed by a burp and a chorus of ringing laughter.

_Oh Kami-sama…_ Kakashi thought, trying to decide what to do with the woman.

"Leggo, Kaka-sensei! I c-can do this on my o-own!" Sakura screeched, ripping herself from him and walking haphazardly to the right, then zigzagged to the left. She finally fell on the ground after getting her feet tangled up, laughing loudly.

Finally coming to a decision, Kakashi scooped his former student up and righted her before slinging her arm around his shoulders, placing his arm around her waist (he had to stoop, and it was very uncomfortable, but it worked) and he guided her in the general direction of where he remembered Naruto bringing her one night, which had hopefully been her apartment.

"I think Tsunade-sama is rubbing off on you, Sakura." The older male grumbled, and Sakura giggled.

"That Tsunade-shishou is a-_hic_-very amazing woman! You," she poked Kakashi's chest drunkenly, "shouldn't make fun of her like that."

Kakashi smirked beneath the mask as Sakura broke out into a song, letting out peals of laughter every once in a while. It wasn't long before they reached her apartment, but Sakura kept on stumbling, so it took longer than it normally would.

"Okay, Sakura, where's the key?" He asked, as patiently as he could.

"I dunno… spare…uhm, somewhere." She mumbled as he placed her against the wall.

"Kakashi-sensei…" he turned his head to her, and much to his horror, Sakura began to cry again as she slid down the wall. "I really thought Warui and I were gonna make it!" She sobbed, and Kakashi stared down at her. He didn't know what to do; he had never dealt with a crying Sakura very well, which is what she always used to do in their genin days. "I mean, God! Apparently I wasn't enough for him, since I caught him cheating on me," she hiccupped, "and she was so UGLY too, Kaka-sensei!" Sakura wailed, and buried her head into her knees. "I know I have a big forehead, but this girl looked like a pug! And I don't know why I went out tonight and now I feel really tired and I can't think straight and I must look as ugly as that bitch and you probably HATE me right now!" She let out a strangled sound and cried harder. "I'm so s-sorry, K-Kaka-sensei!"

"Uh, that's alright, Sakura," He patted her awkwardly on the head, while his head screamed at him to run away. Run away FAST.

Sakura looked up, eyes big and innocent. "Really?" She sniffled, and Kakashi nodded.

"Really, Sakura. You're not all that bad, and Warui is an idiot." He grimaced. He **REALLY **wasn't good at this whole comforting-the-distressed-female business.

Sakura smiled tiredly at him. "Okay," she whispered, and closed her eyes. Kakashi sighed and turned back to his task He finally found her key, and he slid it into the lock easily, the door swinging open with a gentle push.

"C'mon, Sakura," he said, pulling her up easily by the wrists. She stumbled into his chest then stepped back, laughing. The onyx-eyed male sighed as he pulled her into the apartment, turning on a light. He noted subconsciously that everything was pretty neat, typical Sakura. He bet that if he went into her closet it would look like a bomb of clothes attacked, though.

"So who are you going to go out with next? Sasuke?" He asked, placing her down onto the couch as he looked around, trying to figure out where the bathroom was.

Sakura snorted in a very un-lady-like way as she attempted to take off her shoes with her feet.

"With that frigid bastard? Hell no! Besides," she grinned, "I think he's gay, Kakashi-sensei. I'm willing to bet that he's screwing Naruto."

Kakashi didn't think that he had ever heard such a disturbing comment in his entire life. He knew he was going to have nightmares for weeks, not to mention he might not ever be able to look either boy in the face for quite a while.

"Why do you think that?" He asked, trying to push back the mental images.

"Well, Sasuke-kun never liked female attention, and he and Naruto always have those _sparring sessions_," Sakura said the last words mockingly, "Yeah, they're training, all right. Their favorite must be the push up."

Kakashi resumed looking for the bathroom frantically. He just threw up a little from the mere thought of the Uchiha and the Uzumaki doing Sakura's version of "push ups".

He left her alone (mostly to avoid any more mental scarring) as he searched the hallways, finally finding what he had been looking for. The walls were painted a soft looking blue, and the rugs were cerulean too, but Kakashi disregarded that as he opened her mirror and grabbed the bottle of aspirin before walking out back towards the living room. Sakura was exactly where he had left her, somewhere in between that hazy line of dreamland and awake-ness.

Kakashi smiled at the small smile on her face. It reminded him of when she was twelve and still naïve to the world. He cared for Sakura like a father would, even though he wasn't much older. She was twenty five and he was thirty seven, but it didn't diminish his thoughts for the pink-haired female. To him, she would always be that same little girl that had hid behind her teammates but also knocked some sense (sometimes literally, in Naruto's case) into them.

He had a little trouble finding which cabinet held the glasses, but he eventually found it, and filled it with ice cubes and water, then placed down two pills and the glass of water on the table, more towards the middle, so that should Sakura kick in her sleep (she did, as he remembered Sasuke grumbling once, having pointed to a large bruise on the side of his ribcage) she wouldn't knock over the water. He glanced at the sleeping roseate-haired female once before making his way back home.

It was only when he was buried under his covers, waiting for the blissful waves of sleep (that were rapidly approaching) to claim him before a sudden thought hit him, and both eyes snapped open.

He never got drunk tonight.

Goddammit!

* * *

**A/N- I know, I can't explain myself either XD. The plot-bunnies mauled me when I was flipping through the channels and found The Wedding Planner, and it was at the part where she is drunk and that blond dude (I can't spell his last name) is helping her home. I didn't intend for this to be KakaSaku (and it's not, as you can tell from the whole he thought of her as his daughter) but I guess to those KakaSaku fans, it can be. Just disregard the whole "she was like his daughter" and wallah! So, thoughts?**


End file.
